A Collection of Songs of Cowling

A Collection of Songs of Cowling
Credit: David Hoyle
Further information to mail@moon-rakers.co.uk please.

THE GENDARMES – Duet
When lads are called into the army
A number’s added to their name
And it’s enough to drive ’em barmy
When made to play the ‘Army Game’
But Kenneth Tanswell’s done his service
And with John Watson you will meet
A pair of cops – a pair of cops
They’ll show you how to walk the beat (repeat)
If gangs in Sutton cause a riot
Or do some damage in the Park
The Parish Council won’t keep quiet
Nor look upon it as a lark
With Sidney Laycock now a member
The matter soon will be put right
He’ll run them in – he’ll run them in
He’ll run them in – he’ll run them in
He’ll show them he’s a son of Bright (repeat)
You will remember the disaster
Of Mr. Blundred down a hole
But now he’s got his leg in plaster
Through playing yet another role
He’s not alone in this predicament
Jim Forte is tied up just like him
They’ve hobbled in – they’ve hobbled in
They’ve hobbled in – they’ve hobbled in
Three cheers for Frederick and Jim (repeat)
TWENTY TINY FINGERS
Our Parson’s life is full of strife
When he’s a family
He’s in a trance inside the Manse
When conscientiously
He must prepare with extra care
A sermon on our sins
A voice cries out, come here and clout
These rough unruly twins
A joiner’s shop is our next stop
To a man we all admire
He’s such a treat, right on the beat
The leader of our choir
His household is so full of bliss
With harmony and song
And Margaret and Frances let
Them know where they belong
It’s grand to watch a cricket match
When bill goes in to bat
His 50’s up we’ll win the cup
(Send Dave round with the hat)
The twins are there, one dark, one fair
They laugh and shout with glee
Their Dad is piling on the runs
While Mam helps with the tea
Now each has got a double lot
Of headache, joy and care
The clothes they need, two mouths to feed
Must fill them with despair
But just as trouble must be double
So too must love and praise
God bless them all, the twins they call
Blundred, Duckworth and Hayes

MR. CLEAVER
(To the tune of Nellie Dean)
Mr. Cleaver’s busy life – Never ends
He’s a stranger to his wife – And his friends
After baking all the day
You will see him on his way
To one of the many meetings he attends
Every night he’s on the go – Never fear
The Producer of this show – Every Year
Parish Council, Tennis Club
Could not hope to find a sub
For hard working Mr. Cleaver shed a tear
(Oh shed a tear)
TO THE TUNE – ‘Vicar of Bray’
This is a tribute to our choir
For giving faithful service
The Younger ones we must admire
Although the’re rather nervous
But when it comes to Pantomime
With words and music telling
A fairy tale in song and rhyme
You’ll find them all excelling
CHORUS: Soprano, Tenor, Alto, Base
On Sunday take their places
Then Parson Blundred states his case
And through the sermon races
Conductor Ronald’s on his feet
To lead us with the singing
He waves his arms, we watch the beat
And set the rafters ringing
When we’re accompanied by Jim
We’ll tackle any chorus
From Oratorio and hymn
While he is playing for us
CHORUS
With Milton and Hermon Tenor Boys
Up on the left you spot ’em
The other side supplies the noise
Say’s Maurice Winterbottom
The ladies standing inbetween
Make harmony so thrilling
Contraltos quiet and serene
Sopranos poor but willing
CHORUS

TO THE TUNE – ‘John Brown’s Body’
When Gilbert and his family removed to Long Hill End
The icy grip of Winter nearly drove them round the bend
They had to carry water from the beck and just pretend
That all would be OK
CHORUS: Glory, Glory, Hallelujah; Glory, Glory, Hallelujah
Glory, Glory, Hallelujah; The things we have to say
With central heating useless and temperature below
The only thing that kept them warm amid the ice and snow
Was Mark’s good pipe which kept alight and gave a cheerful glow
Amid the encircling gloom
CHORUS
The Keighley News reported Cowling life the other week
For characters to air their views they hadn’t far to seek
They saw Bright Laycock and Jim King and followed on with Mick
The things they had to say
CHORUS
Mr. Duckworth did his best the moral code to vindicate
The friendliness that Mr. Cleaver tried to cultivate
Mr. Tibbett’s contribution was of course in ‘triplicate’
Three Churches on his mind
CHORUS
Amalgamation of our Churches once again is news
But each has got it’s little clique with different kinds of views
They’d rather stand alone and look at rows of empty pews
Than join the three in one
CHORUS
Three couples looking back to 1934 feel old
For Ronald, Sydney and Milton and their wives the years have rolled
Three weddings now are Silver and it’s on towards the Gold
Best wishes to you all
CHORUS
We welcome Mr. Blundred and his friends another time
We’d like to tell some tales of them to finish off this rhyme
Instead we’ll say we hope that they enjoy this Pantomime
And come again next year
CHORUS
(last verse added later….)
A man was fined at Skipton Court, the Clerk then had to try
And get the money paid to him or know the reason why
‘If you’re short of brass I’ll pay you now’ was George O’ Kitt’s reply
His cap upon his head
TO THE TUNE – ‘Football Crazy’
There’s a football team at Burnley and to watch their lively game
The supporters go from far and wide and cheer their club to fame
You know that Sydney Smith will travel to Turf Moor when he can
So three cheers for him a tower of strength and a true blue Burnley fan

Oh he’s Burnley crazy, and his Turf Moor mad
And he surely is without a doubt the keenest fan they’ve had
And as he isn’t tied by practise for Pantomime this year
He is free to go when they’re at home if his wife gives the all clear
Yes our Steam Pigs on the cricket field have done it once again
They have won the cup and topped the league although it was a strain
Especially down there at Eastburn where the Cowling Cup was won
The account by Harry East in t’news told just how this was done
Oh its a grand game cricket, so full of thrills
Now the club has had to run a pool to pay it’s heavy bills
But with such a good team spirit don’t leave them in the lurch
Give them your support and help the funds for treasurer F.T. Birch
Oh you all know Allan Conyers and Brian Cleaver too
They are leaders of the Youth club with a job of work to do
Arranging film shows games and dancing and trying to stop the joys
Of the necking parties carried on by all the girls and boys
Oh they’re Youth club crazy, they’re Youth club mad
And the Youth club it has robbed them of the peaceful life they had
Each Wednesday night they must control them and keep things well in hand
Since they became the leaders of this flourishing Youth club band

WELCOME TO COWLING – 2nd Edition
So Cowling’s in the news again, we’re going to have a fight
The High Court will decide if people still should have the right
To go up on the moorland as they’ve done for years gone by
And dig for peat or shoot the grouse, get bilberries for a pie
CHORUS: Welcome to Cowling, etc.
Freeholders of Ickornshaw Moor have battled in the past
Against invaders of their rights, determined to hold fast
Our heritage is threatened once again we’re sad to say
By Feather and McEwan but we’re ready for the fray
CHORUS: Welcome to Cowling, etc.
The Cowling Cup for cricket in division 2 last year
Was won by our ‘Steam Pigs’ who certainly deserve a cheer
With Heseltine and Rishton bowling at their very best
And battling feats by Binns and Hoyle and Benson and the rest
CHORUS: Welcome to Cowling, etc.
We’ve had a change of Parson since our Pantomime last year
Mr. Blundred’s gone to Burley, Mr. Tibbets settled here
He’s left the sheep ou in the wilds at Hawes and taken stock
Of Cowling’s sheep and goats because he’s got another flock
CHORUS: Welcome to Cowling, etc.
TO THE TUNE – ‘Lay down your Arms’
Now Cowling is a Village as pretty as can be
With hills and dales and moorland in close proximity
The Pinnacle’s a landmark and from it you can see
The roads and mills and houses – such lovely scenery
CHORUS: Welcome to Cowling, come here with us
Can’t go by Railway, must take a Bus
Then at Paul Scott’s you will get your first sight
Of it’s main street on a cold winters night
The way is well illuminated by electricity
With roads and footpaths made by the W.R.C.C
We’re glad the job is finished its taken such a while
And John O’ Wills red lanterns were carried many a mile
CHORUS: Welcome to Cowling, come here with us
Can’t go by Railway, must take a Bus
Then at Paul Scott’s you will get your first sight
Of it’s main street on a cold winters night
The road was very dangerous a little while ago
And footpaths made more treacherous by melting ice and snow
Imagine our surprise one night on hearing such a shout
From Mr. Blundred down a hole – ‘I’ve slipped and can’t get out’
CHORUS: Welcome to Cowling, come here with us
Can’t go by Railway, must take a Bus
Then at Paul Scott’s you will get your first sight
Of it’s main street on a cold winters night
Now if you want a shelter or an extra light or two
Just ask the Parish Council they will tell you what to do
And now that Handel’s joined them you won’t have long to wait
Before you find a shilling is added to the rate
CHORUS: Welcome to Cowling, come here with us
Can’t go by Railway, must take a Bus
Then at Paul Scott’s you will get your first sight
Of it’s main street on a cold winters night